An Unwelcome Guest

We were tired after our long drive, anticipating a comfortable bed and a good nights sleep. Drew was a little dispointed that he din't finnish his helmet in time to be able to fight in the tournament. Theres just a couple more things he has to do.

We made our last Turn into the driveway and then Drew made a very sudden stop. It surprised me, and as I looked forward, At the end of our driveway, we had a guest waiting for us., a very unwelcome guest. He was picking through our garbage, and seemed unaware we even had our lights on him. We sat there stunned for a couple seconds, wondering how to best handle the situation.

We were worried to back up, go forward or make any noise. We didn't want to scare him. The last thing we needed was for him to attack us with black and white smelly tail.

It felt ridiculous to have our house hijacked by a skunk. He sat there, right in the path of our only entrance into the house.

Well Drews first thought was to start flashing the high beams at him... He didn't take much notice, He just continued taking junk out of the ripped bag and making a mess of our driveway. This was pissing us off. Not only did we want to sleep but we don't want to clean up after his mess tomorrow... We have enough to do!

So now Drew let a couple beeps of the horn go out. This got the skunks attention. He turned around holding a rotten banana he was eating and seemed to raise it mockingly at us, almost as if to toast us with it...

I think that aggravated Drew, cause now he did two things that I thought could be incredibly stupid.

1st , He rolled down the window. ( This I thought was stupid because I know how far a skunk spray can range... This would be easy for us to get covered in stink)

2nd He took an empty pop bottle from the cup holder and chucked it at the Skunk! ( AHHHHHHHHHH! why would you intentionally piss off a SKUNK???)

Well LUCKILY this is a very laid back skunk. He took the pop bottle thrown at him very well, And still didn't nudge I felt some relief. He didn't feel insulted enough to spray us..

Apearently Drew didn't take it too well though. He expected more of a reaction He now reached back and grabbed two Stratford festival catalogues and threw those at the skunk... That got the skunk to finally move... INTO our back yard. NOT the direction we need.

Our door to our apartment in our house is the back door, accessed from the back yard, where the skunk has now skulked off too. We can no longer see the skunk and see if we are in any danger of getting sprayed.

Drew now popped the trunk and jumped out of the car. I had no idea what he was planning to do now. I thought maybe he was thinking of trying to find more junk in his trunk to throw at it.

He ran to the back of the car, Opened it up, and and put on his new stainless steel SCA helmet, grabbed his Rattan sword and his shield. He took a guarded stance and started an advance very slowly around my side of the car... I lowered my window about a half inch ( The bravest thing I have done so far)
I called out quietly to him " what the hell are you doing????"
He said, " We can't see the skunk from the car, I gotta go into the back yard"
me - " What the Hell is with the armor???"
Him - " To protect myself if it sprays"
Me- "What's with the sword???"
Him- " I'm gone make noise to warn it that I'm coming...and if it sprays me, I'm gonna have a some fur to put on my helmet... gimme your house keys so I can unlock the door'


So I passed my Keys out, He used his sword to repeatedly bang on the side of the house as he slowly advanced. One shuffle step at a time. It took maybe two minutes to advance 20 feet. When he got to the door, He tried to unlock it but isn't used to my keys in our finicky lock. Somehow he busted the lock as he unlocked it. When he got in he turned on the outside light.

I Yelled out asking if it was OK for me to come in. I quickly turned off the lights to the car, grabbed his keys that were in the ignition, and ran into the house. We were finally safe.

I am glad to report that neither of us were sprayed and we have no idea where the skunk went. Our only casualty is our Glad garbage bag which is NOT tough enough for little skunk nails.

On recounting the story with Drew last night, I told him how ridiculous he looked wearing that helmet.to advance on a skunk I asked him if he even considered if he got sprayed, would that smell ever come out of his helmet? He looked at me in horror....I guess he didn't think about that. He said he would have regretted getting his helmet sprayed the most.

Well, At least he had the chance to use his armour to defend my honour.

Thanks Drew! Love you lots!